How Hogwarts Left Me Scarred For Life (By Enid McElderry)
by night is bitter
Summary: Since I was eleven years old fate has pushed their sickly sweet affair in my direction, and there's only so many times you can run. When I leave school, I don't care about my grades or even long lasting friendships – I just want to leave with my sanity, but even that might be impossible...because Hogwarts has left me scarred for life.


I've never been one to believe in nostalgia. I'm not sentimental enough for any of that rubbish. In spite of it all, I've got to say – when you come to the end of a chapter in your life you can't help but wish you could read it for the first time again. Reflecting never has been the same as living each memory in the moment. No pensieve or dream can bring back those raw emotions from the first, initial experience. The last few weeks of Hogwarts are dragging famously thankfully because I don't really want them to end. Am I, Enid McElderry, ready for the outside wizarding world? Perhaps. Do I have any idea what I want to do with my future? Not in the slightest. When I was ten, I was still under the impression that magic was a something lost in a fairytale, but I hoped it was real. Just so one day we could fly, or fall into the depths of the ocean without needing to breathe. Of course, Hogwarts isn't quite like that. I still embraced every bit of magic, tried my hardest in subjects – to a point of course. At Divination and Astronomy I draw the line.

Now I'm sat alone in the girls' dormitory of Gryffindor Tower – looking back on the last seven years I've spent in this beautiful, terrifying castle. A part of me doesn't want to leave, but I don't think I could be stuck inside, trapped behind a child's uniform for another moment. I must admit, the further I sink back into my memory, the harder it is to suppress a shudder, or even a slight grimace. As a Gryffindor it's inevitable that trouble will shake you by the hand – but for me it never quite lost its grip. I've never been a mischievous, ill-behaved, student; but over the years I found myself on the outside peering through into some of Hogwarts' best kept secrets. I must stress, I didn't do this intentionally! And after the first time, I thought it might've been a nightmare – one I'd never talk about again and hopefully forget five years later. But no, fate seemed to have it in for me from day one, and threw me at some of the most disturbing things an eleven year old could happen upon. Did I tell anyone? No! Who would've believed me? Of course when it came out, apparently _everyone_ knew – which was a load of rubbish. I had a front row seat, one that I'd have given up to any of these people who said they saw it coming a mile off. But no, I had been aware of one of Hogwarts' most private affairs from its get go, or more specifically, November 2001, my first year.

 **November 2001 – The First Incident  
** I'd never meant to be wandering about the castle, it was my blasted cat that I'd insisted on taking with me in my first year: _Toby_. He was already quite old, and if he'd wandered off to die then I was certain I'd lose house points. I also knew that in the event of dropping house points all my friends would disappear. Some of my worst fears were built with words like _Enid! How could your cat lose us all those points! Couldn't he have waited until the holidays to die?!_ At which point I would no doubt be rid of all my friends because of a cat who was insistent on his expiry date. I loved Toby, honestly, but he was old, and everything had its time eventually. So, in my navy dressing gown, favourite frog slippers, and wand in my pocket, I braved the corridors at night. Despite what most people were like in the winter, Toby seemed to love the cold and could often be found in the depths of the dungeons, which was my first destination. It was terrifying, not only did painted eyes follow me around the halls, but their grumbles did too, and my heart jumped each time.

The dungeons were even colder at night, the bitter winds of winter crept beneath my layers of clothing, thus creating fresh goosebumps to prickle against my skin. I still had that Gryffindor courage deep in my bones; I wasn't deterred of the darkness which had engulfed all 4ft 11 of me, the weather, or the general haunting atmosphere that seemed to radiate from the lowest part of the castle.

"Toby, come on puss, where are you?" I whispered – knowing I wouldn't hear him and my best bet was that I'd trip over a large ball of fluff eventually. I paced the main corridor looking for...a _black cat._ His complexion didn't help one bit. Eventually I heard voices. Bugger. Voices were never good, unless Toby had become quite the conversationalist after 10 years of the occasional mew for attention. Both voices I knew, quite well. I threw myself into the nearest side corridor and tucked myself underneath some tapestry, with only my frog slippers to give me away.

 _"Miss Granger I do not need your assistance, I am perfectly capable of walking to my quarters alone."_ One very recognisable voice sneered. My two professors had been taking a late night patrol, it appeared, and now they too were calling it a night. I knew I had to wait until the conversation ended and Professor...or _Miss Granger_ as he had called her, left.

 _"My name's Hermione, Severus. I know you didn't need my assistance, I just wanted to thank you for a lovely walk."_ A walk? It was almost midnight! Hadn't anyone heard of sleeping? ...and who in Merlin's name was Severus? Oh wait, Professor Snape of course. I'd have probably recognised him if she'd used his title, or just called him the dungeon bat. Everyone else did.

After a short while hearing their voices wasn't enough, and for a cocky little first year, I wanted to get closer – to believe what I was hearing. I peered round the corner, the hood of my robe up for protection. How the two hadn't seen me I didn't know, I wasn't particularly obvious but I was no slytherin; I lacked subtlety. From my restricted view, I could see the both of them were rather _close_. Professor Granger was bold, or stupid, and had left only a small gap between them.

At this point no more words were spoken, and instead my dour, stringent, hard-faced Potions Professor had closed the barrier between them and snaked his arm around the transfiguration professor's waist. _No...this couldn't be happening. No!_ I wanted to look away, to run off and scream, but instead I found myself almost glued to the scene unfolding before me. It was like something out of a silly soap opera like the ones my mother watched. My head was screaming _RUN PROFESSOR GRANGER!_ But instead she smirked...she bloody smirked!

" _Miss...Hermione, I-"_ Professor Snape began, was he stuttering? Or did Professor Granger babble on so much that he gave her the opportunity to interrupt.

" _Severus, please."_ She whispered. And that was it. That was the start. The gap was closed and he had captured her lips with his own. My eyes were wide, my jaw was dropped, and my brain was screaming, _STOP IT STOP IT NOW, IT'S DISGUSTING, IT'S WRONG YOU'RE MY TEACHERS!_ Instead I gave no sign of my presence and found myself watching in absolute horror, unable to pull away from the revolting sight of my teachers _swapping spit._

Frozen to the spot I hadn't realised my wand had fallen out of my pocket until it clattered to the floor, and the two _lovebirds_ leapt apart. I turned the corner and hurriedly picked up my wand. Not for a duel, Merlin, I'm not that stupid, but to avoid any more questions than there needed to be. I could ask the two of them what the bloody hell they thought they were doing! But no, it wasn't my place, and at this point in my life I valued those house points more than anything.

 _"Reveal yourself."_ Professor Snape called, looking down the corridor I was in...I wasn't even hiding. I was in plain sight, pretending to do what I'd actually meant to achieve in the first place. Find my cat.

"Oh hello Professor...Professors. I know I'm out after dark but my cat's gone missing, and he's old...I don't want to lose any points if someone finds him dead on the floor, and I-" I babbled, hoping he wouldn't see through my ball of nerves and that I'd actually witnessed some sort of horrific, magical moment between the pair. Snape merely raised his eyebrow, and his lip curled into the smallest of smirks. I was livid, and also terrified. I wasn't about to argue with the Potions master but his lack of emotion for my possibly dead cat made my blood boil. Was it just a joke to him?!

"Enough." He stated simply, and my wittering ceased. Instead Professor Granger stepped in front of him offering a warm smile.

"Please Professor Snape; this is one of my first years. Miss McElderry, yes?" The professors warmer tone was much more inviting than her other half's, who was still defending himself with a cold-hearted stare. Yes I much preferred Professor Granger to him.

"You know, I once had a lovely cat, Crookshanks, he used to do the same thing and toddle off into the night. Now I'm not too sure how your cat escaped, but he may have ventured to the Kitchens? Crooks used to love to go for a midnight snack. Shall we go look for him together?"

I couldn't speak; I was still struck with how quickly they'd changed personas from their previous _Severus and Hermione_ and transformed into these professors. Instead I offered her a nod, and she set off.

"Come along then Miss McElderry, we haven't all night. Good evening, Professor Snape." She called to her companion, for want of a better word. She flashed him a warm smile and something in her eyes said that they had much more to discuss. I shuddered.

"Good evening Professor Granger," he replied, not even acknowledging my presence. From that I instantly knew that this was more than a brief fling like the ones in the soap operas...it was something much, much bigger.

I distinctly remember my dreams being filled of Toby chasing Professor Snape before the feline finally dropped dead to which Snape would shout _500 points from Gryffindor._ I woke up in a sweat.

The next morning my classes had gone rather well, and as I went to finish the day in my common room with a spring in my step, I skipped past an empty classroom to see those same professors together...again! Could they not be apart for five minutes?! This time though I could hear the room being filled with words – so I hesitated for a moment.

"Well? Did she see?" Snape demanded, his words clearly less tender than the night before. He wasn't angry, that much was clear, but he wasn't very patient and was obviously worried that gossip would soon be weaving through the castle walls.

"No, she didn't talk much actually. We found her cat in the kitchens and I sent her off to bed. Oh and I didn't take any points. She looked terrified." Professor Granger laughed softly.

"Typical Gryffindor." I heard the slytherin mumble.

"No, Severus, a typical eleven year old. She's only a child. Now clearly your reputation wasn't the only reason you asked to see me in this old...defence room was it not?" She replied, and then it all went quiet. By no means did I want a repeat of the night before, so I turned around – back the way I came, desperately trying to forget the whole thing.

Up until my third year I never asked if the two had stayed together, for the answer stood before me every day, when I went for breakfast up until my evening meal before I retired for the night. Before my first few months at Hogwarts Professor Snape barely showed his face, and Professor Granger pushed her food across the plate instead of demolishing it. I realised after the first event, that I was not the only one who'd been aware of these things. The day after, the two arrived at breakfast, and Professor Snape held her chair out for her. The fact that no one else noticed, instantly irked me. I had no one to confide in, and had to bear this bloody secret on my own slim shoulders. Professor Granger didn't eat more straight away of course, the potions master wasn't a miracle worker. But as time passed long gone was the drawn angled face and tiny frame. Of course, she was still petite, but she looked healthy. I liked that, I mean, I'm not saying she needed a man to save her or show her that she needed to eat...but I think Professor Snape pushed her in a direction she already knew to be right.

After that it was the little things. My regular spot in the Great Hall meant I could see when his hand rested over her own, or sometimes on her knee...and on the odd occasion _her thigh._ She'd glance over at him playfully...and I would slowly die inside. I'd sharply turn my head towards my food, and that is where it would stay until I finished. Some things you just weren't _meant_ to see...especially that early on in the day.

Then one morning in spring, 2004, I think it was everything changed. The sun lit the sky like a candle, and the morning was painted with crimson flames. As soon as the season had turned to spring, it seemed their relationship had taken a different turn. No one else noticed, but I sure as hell did.

Professor Snape had arrived first, his demeanour still as sour as ever but shortly after, Professor Granger followed suit...and sat _three seats down. Not one, not even two...but three!_ Just for a second I glanced at the head of slytherin with a look of pity that said, _someone's clearly in trouble._ However I valued my life, and the free time I had out of detention, so I kept that look...and those words, to myself. Eye contact between the two was minimal whenever I managed to catch a glimpse, and my head of house seemed distant. What was wrong with her? I had no intention of marching up to her table and saying,  
"Trouble in paradise, Professor?" but no one could look that glum over a croissant!

I tried to think nothing of it, I mean it wasn't my business and it certainly wasn't my love life. I got on with my schoolwork, not that I didn't before, and studied where and whenever I could. I liked it. Perhaps it's a muggleborn thing. I saw many a pureblood, and even half-blood moan about having to learn a new charm or have to write an essay on properties of potions...but I couldn't wait. It solidified this world that seemed too perfect to be true. Doing all this work meant I wasn't mad stuck in an asylum somewhere, or that it wasn't an unusually long dream...it was happening. That was why I loved Professor Granger's transfiguration lessons. Maybe I wouldn't have loved them so if Headmistress McGonagall had been teaching them, but my head of house seemed to share the same look I did every time she taught us something new. I knew a little of her past, being wanted muggleborn number one and one of the brightest witches of her age. I'd quoted someone there, though I'm not sure who. Maybe that revised version of Hogwarts a History, the one that Professor Granger herself had helped to edit.

It had to be said that Transfiguration was where I flourished most, and despite how much I enjoyed reading and researching the subject...I didn't need to. So when the Gryffindors celebrated their latest quidditch win on a long hot night in May, I slipped into the corridors – and eventually chose a room to study charms in; a subject that I neither flourished nor failed, nonetheless I worked tirelessly.

The room I picked contained one of the most interesting objects I'd ever come into contact with in all my three years at school. The _Mirror of Erised._ It looked just as it had in _Hogwarts a History._ She stood tall and firm, with a sense of elegance and allure to it. I was magnetised to it, I didn't even care to know what my desire was – I just hoped the mirror would make me look as perfect as the object itself.

What was presented before me, gave me no other emotions but hunger, as I saw myself diving into a slice of my mother's famous rhubarb pie. The fruit juices trickled along my lips and chin, and the sugar that Jade McElderry would always place so delicately ended up littered around my lips and on my clothing, every single time. The mirror didn't fill me with satisfaction, sure I knew my desire...but I was also hungry. Great. I ignored the urge, and began to read about disillusionment charms, something we'd been over once or twice, I'd practised the spell on my friend Hannah once in lesson...but the only thing that disappeared was her nose. Thankfully Madame Pomfrey managed to bring it back.

After an hour or so of pouring over this charm I thought to be positively pointless at the time, a pair of clicking heels began to approach. Their noise filled the room and corridor outside, which suggested someone, was either running or marching. Not many students wore heels either – so it had to be a professor. I then looked over at my watch... _bollocks!_ The quidditch party would've been long since finished, and I was out, once again, after hours. The last time I'd been caught was by that smelly old man with a rather menacing cat...and I was certain neither of them possessed heels. I began to panic, I didn't want a detention, I hate detention!

Then something clicked in my brain, it was like the circuits had finally woken after thirteen years of a peaceful slumber, and my mind wandered back to the book I'd pored over for the entirety of the evening. Naturally I had to check over the charm...and where did I point my wand? At my head? What if I'd spent the rest of my life without a head? I suppose I'd have one up on _nearly_ headless Nick. Wand shaking, I tried to angle myself correctly and finally cast the spell. How could I tell if it worked? The only mirror in the room didn't even show your own ruddy reflection! Fat lot of good that was. The heels were getting louder, and I dreaded the person who might be attached to them, woe betide if it was the Headmistress – she'd have me scrubbing cauldrons or bedpans for weeks!

I did what I thought would be best, I crossed my fingers and toes and launched myself into a dark corner at the back of the room, hoping I wouldn't be seen.

After who had arrived, a part of me wished it had been Professor McGonagall, or maybe that _Lord Voldemort_ himself.

"Oh, Merlin." She mumbled to herself, quickly drying her eyes. She'd been crying. No doubt over a certain snarky potions master. In my experience the two usually travelled in pairs, so it wouldn't be long before-

"Please stop crying."

 _Yep, there he is._

Why me? I thought I'd done well after managing to spend the rest of my first, all of my second, and most of my third year...hiding away from their sickly love affair and their current tiff. I'd done _so well._ Now they were following me! As if my prepubescent years hadn't been damaging enough, now they planned on scarring me until I turned twenty! Great!

Professor Granger completely ignored the potion master's request, and turned to the mirror. Her eyes still clearly stung from the tears,

"Have you ever looked in this mirror, Severus?" She asked softly, before taking his arm and leading him to the grand object. I had to admire her bravery, I know she clearly cared about the man – but anyone and everyone would be hesitant to touch him out of fear for their morning pumpkin juice being poisoned.

"No. I never saw the point in seeing something I couldn't have." He replied sadly, his head bowed deep in remorse. I didn't realise how poetic and deep Professor Snape could be, or how torturous his past must have been. Not that I'd ask, and I absolutely hoped that I wouldn't get another helping of information about the slytherin's life. Another secret I didn't want – would soon be mine to bear.

"Lily?" Professor Granger asked, to which he nodded. Who was this girl? A sister, a wife – although Lily Snape sounded horrible...so there was no way that they were together. Perhaps a lost friend. That seems like the...least juicy answer, so it's the one I stuck with.

She then asked him what he saw now, and for a while, no words were spoken. Thankfully no movement took place either. The two just stood, in brilliant blissful silence. Although I was praying they would possibly speed it up a little bit, seeing as the spell would wear off in about 20 minutes, maybe less seeing as it was the first time I'd cast it properly.

Eventually, he regained the ability to speak and he replied,

"I see you...happy. No more tears." He stated, and as Snape did, his eyes were not on the reflection, but locked deep into Professor Granger's eyes. My heart stopped for a moment, I had no idea how caring the Professor could be. This was the moment I knew it was more than something to pass time; I could see how much change it had brought, and how much pain the sudden rupture had caused.

"You make me happy, you silly man." She whispered her voice was so close to breaking.

"I am not enough." He answered plainly, his eyes dropping to the floor. It wasn't cowardice, but shame that he was avoiding her gaze.

"No, Severus, what isn't enough is that I can't love you in front of everyone. I'm not asking for a parade! I'm just asking to be able to laugh with you, hold your hand and not worry about who's looking, I want to share my life with you – not a few nights a week! You mean more to me than that." Professor Granger exclaimed, her arms flailing as they did when she explained something in class, or when she was praising someone who'd successfully performed a spell for the first time. There was hope and excitement in her face, and I knew she wanted to share that with Professor Snape. I wanted to scream at him not to be so bloody thick, but instead I watched helplessly, and allowed the argument to unfold.

"You mean _everything_ to me, Hermione." And my heart shattered again. If that was the case then wasn't the problem solved? There had to be something stopping him.

"But I am not you. I am not a lion, nor a Gryffindor. I am a man who enjoys his privacy. I will not ask Minerva to declare it to the faculty, but...I will try." He compromised, searching her eyes for some recognition. It was as though he had no clue what he was looking for, like he'd never been loved before.

I had expected Professor Granger to be happy...but Merlin she seemed practically elated. She launched herself at him and all of a sudden they seemed to be one person. She peppered his face with kisses and grinned,

"We'll start out small...I can do that." She smiled, and with care Professor Snape placed her back on the ground, holding her forearm in case she toppled over in her heels. They then left the room, to do...well, something I'd rather not think about, and I could breathe again. I was unsure as to whether I wanted to wretch into a bucket or swoon over how poetic and love struck the two of them had been. Which meant, pretty soon – everyone else would know. The two teachers were terrible at keeping secrets...why hadn't the rest of the students figured it out?! Why was I the only one who had to suffer with their affairs, as my hormones battled between opinions of the entire event? Was it cute, or was it disgusting – I couldn't quite figure it out.

Nonetheless, if I'd done my charm correctly, I still had five minutes left disillusioned, and that gave me just enough time to get to bed undetected.

 **1** **st** **September 2004**

On the first day back the sorting ceremony took a back seat to the main event. Professor Granger didn't proclaim her love from the rooftops, and lock lips with the potions master there and then – but what she did was so obvious, it filled the hall with gasps and splutters as many a child choked on their dinner. I knew something was coming, but I had no idea what. They sat together, returning to their previous norm, but at one point in the feast, _she leaned into him._ She was also wearing a ring, yep on _that finger._ To everyone else it may have seemed like quite a shock, but Merlin, from my point of view they'd been hiding long enough – it was about time!

At that point I'm certain every lion was jealous of my front row seat, as I saw the jewel that rested on her finger. It was quite beautiful, and had such an old charm to it. It was plainly obvious it was some sort of Snape heirloom. You couldn't pick something like _that_ out of a shop, unless that shop was somewhere around 1952.

From then on, they didn't hide what was going on anymore. They were subtle, but god they could be so stupid. And they managed to share their stupidity with me, _again._ Anyone would think I'd be safe in the library, I mean they teach completely different things, so why would they need to be there _together?!_ It was a Hogsmeade Weekend, which meant the older students were out of the castle, and the younger students had no desire to study. It was the perfect opportunity for me to study, but also for the two teachers to... _canoodle._

I'm not sure if they noticed me, but Professor Snape was there first. He swooped in, still dressed in black as always, and merely nodded in my direction. Well that was something. It wasn't a _hello Miss McElderry how's your weekend?!_ But it wasn't a _shift it cretin_ kind of look either. I wasn't bad at potions...he'd probably just acknowledged that fact. I saw it as nothing, I mean alone – they're no threat, in actual fact they could be quite useful and help me with my work. Of course, fate enjoyed seeing me suffer – and as if by magic ( _ha...by magic.)_ the other appeared. She looked rather nice actually. Her curls fell just past her shoulders, bouncing with each step she took. She smiled at me before heading off to the back of the library. _Where he was._ Merlin! They couldn't keep their hands off each other could they! Well not on my bloody watch! Everywhere I went, all I wanted was five minutes to myself before their romance pushed its way into my business! I didn't want to know, I couldn't give a flying shite about it! But no, I had to be involved didn't I!

That day I took a stand. I wasn't going to approach them, too stupid, and far too embarrassing for them. Instead...I'd just make them suffer. _Enid McElderry please, your Slytherin is showing._

I slammed my book shut, and marched until I heard laughter coming from the restricted section. Of course they'd pick that spot. Conniving little buggers they were the pair of them. _Ok Enid,_ I told myself, _time to get your innocent on._

"Professor? Professor Granger are you around?" I called out. When she reappeared, all she saw was an innocent fourth year glancing between the bookshelves in the hope of finding her beloved Transfiguration Professor.

From then I set her to answering an incredibly complicated transfiguration question about vanishing, something I didn't have a single clue about. I called it curiosity and she almost shrieked in delight. Apparently she always admired her students having a thirst for knowledge. Weirdly enough, she told me about how she too was a fellow muggleborn, not that it mattered, and that she knew how different it all was. She got that we found ourselves compelled to learn, because the alternative was so utterly boring. It was nice, to have someone who understood. And also wickedly brilliant that I'd managed to avoid stumbling upon another incident that I had no intention of being part of.

 **Present**

Over the years there were other small incidents of course. If I saw them kiss in the hallway, I'd simply... _turn around._ They were so lost in each other they never noticed. When I caught him smiling in his direction, I looked down at the floor and waited for the moment to pass. My fifth year rolled on and she had become, Professor Granger-Snape. It was very much in her compromising nature to take both names, and let her legacy be filled with magic and that muggle part of her too. I liked it. I wasn't going to gush about it though.

I too had found someone, it wasn't the same as the relationship my two teachers had...but nothing had to be identical. We'd studied together for our O. and eventually it became something more. Do I see me and Alex being permanent? It's hard to tell, it could all change in a moment. It did for Professor Snape, just last week. Only this time, I wasn't alone. Alex was with me.

The great big lump had got fallen off his broom in the quidditch final, though he had the cheek to insist someone in my own house knocked him off. I'd gone to see him, and do the typical girlfriend things like hold his hand...smile, call him a stupid git for being so oblivious. You know, stuff like that. The hospital wing had the odd student but they were lost to slumber, and me and Alex were lost in each other. It was all very lovely, until I heard two words which broke us from our own snog fest.

"I'm pregnant." It was a woman. In fact I knew immediately who it was. I think at this point everyone did. Except Alex of course,

"Blimey, who do you think it-" I shushed him silent. I was elated! Someone was finally here with me so I didn't have to deal with yet another burden until they thought it was right to tell people. I was insanely happy, so much so that I kissed Alex in delight.

"Don't you get any ideas Enid!" He said hastily, clearly confused by what the hell I was doing. I grinned; he was such an idiot when he wanted to be, but a loveable one.

"Oh shut up!" I laughed, and waited on Professor Snape's response.

"You're sure?" The emotions were clearly caught in his voice, as he dropped to a whisper.

"Alex, come on maybe we should," I urged him to leave, throwing him his crutches as we left the two of them to it. Nope. Too late. Crap.

I'd done so well over the years at being undetectable, I'd used spells, brushed up on some fabulous acting skills, and the one time when I was with someone, did they catch me! I'd decided it had to be Alex's fault and not mine.

"Mr Steel," Professor Granger-Snape held the door open for Alex, as he hobbled out of the hospital wing, throwing a look of sympathy my way. It would've been nice to graduate with all my sanity, but I was certain of the bollocking and possible use of _obliviate_ would make that impossible.

"Miss McElderry, I'm going to assume you heard all of our...ah, conversation?" She asked me, to which I nodded. I wasn't going to babble on, make excuses, I was ready for whatever was thrown at me. I cleverly dodged making eye contact with Professor Snape, seeing as this was the most awkward conversation I could have in my life. It was bad enough to have it with any teacher, but the most terrifying one in the castle? It _had_ to be me didn't it, it just _had to._

"I won't tell a soul." I blurted. _Shut up Enid!_

"I'm not worried about that, in fact I wanted to thank you." _Thank me?!_ I had no idea that pregnancy addled your brains and made you completely insane...but hey it worked for me.

"Sorry I don't understand." I answered, my eyebrow arched in confusion. They probably thought I was mocking them, I really just wanted to know what the hell they were on about – and why Professor Snape hadn't set her straight and that I deserved detention every day until I left.

"Over the years you've managed to keep things quiet for us. Myself and Se-Professor Snape would like to say thank you." WHAT?! They knew that I knew and didn't just obliviate me from day one?! Why did I suffer through seven years of torture?

"You knew...that I knew?" I asked hesitantly, just in case I was completely off. _No actually Enid we wanted to thank you for doing every bit of homework on time – we actually have no idea what you're on about._ Something to that effect would've been great. Why couldn't it have been a dream? One that I'd nervously laugh into my toast about until it was forgotten the day after.

"Yes." Professor Snape answered bluntly; I didn't look at his face still. I wasn't ready to cringe in front of him, though I knew he could probably read my mind and get that I was already horrified and riddled with embarrassment.

"When?" The word fell out of my mouth. Clearly I hadn't heard my brain scream at me to shut up earlier on. The two exchanged an awkward glance, and it was Professor Granger-Snape who told me.

"Your fourth year." _Ah...the day in the library._ I wasn't going to say it, of course, but all three of us knew. At which point the room started to get a bit too warm and uncomfortable for my liking and I was desperate to take my leave.

"It's really er...no problem Professors. It wasn't my business to tell...so if you don't mind I really should be catching up with Alex." I said, smiled at them both and rushed off. I'd forgotten my bag which I had to go back for later, but I didn't mind. The pressure was off. It took seven years of secrets and one awkward conversation, but I was grateful.

It's safe to say that in some ways, Hogwarts has left me scarred for life. But it's okay, I mean I got the gossip before anyone else, I knew how to hide from them, and I only really blew my cover when I put some heat on the pair. I mean all those times that I could've lived an innocent life – but no...I had to see them kiss, cry, fight and as always – make up. It was disgusting, it was rancid...and it was a little cute. Now I didn't have to deal with it, instead the youngest Snape would be there to remind them to 'get a room'. It's plain to see that child will have a job on their hands, and I wish them a lot of luck.

 **Author's note:** Thank you to Jade for being Enid's mother and helping me create this beautiful character, thank you to Meg for looking over this and giving me the positivity I needed, and thank you to Hannah – for reading through my work and allowing me to take her nose.


End file.
